Sunday 21st November 2010 - Why Mudhakara should be consider FARD!

Asalaamu wa Alikum dear brothers and sisters.

I know in the past two months, I have wrong many of you.
Some of you overlooked this, some of your forgave even though I did not seek it even.
I have been in a wretched way for the past two months and it has only got worse and worse, until I submitted to going to Mudhakara last Sunday. Yes me, I who would hurry to be the first at lesson for the past two years without fail almost and then scourge others for not following suit. Such was I. Such was I, that I have not been but perhaps twice to Mudhakara in the last two months.

I have been in such a vile state, and no matter how much I study or do. Yes I have been doing much practices, lots of fasting, lots of extra prayers, lots of salawat, dhikrs, etc, etc. I have been studying two Aqeedah Texts, Classical Logic and Hanafi Fiqh. I have been doing more than most of you, have learnt more than most of you. Yet have become more vile than most of you. Why is this? I came to learn why and wish to share this with you all.
How is it, that I can know so much Tawheed and be further from Allah? How is it that after doing soo much worship, that my heart has become so hardened?


I shall now convey somethings I noted when at Mudhakara, yesterday, Sunday 21st November 2010.

Your knowledge and actions do not get you into Heaven, they don't get you anywhere, if your heart is not directed to where it should be directed. Yes knowledge and actions are the means, but they must be on the basis of a heart that submits correctly. What has your heart submitted to? With all the knowledge you have and actions you do, has your heart moved closer to Allah or further from Allah? Do you seek a change in your heart?

Satan has more knowledge than all of us put together, he has been in Existence before Adam(as) and he had done worship to Allah in every bit of space that existed before Adam(as). Outwardly he looked like the closest to Allah. Then Adam(as) comes along and the truth comes out. Every time he worshipped Allah, in his heart he proved to himself that he is the Best of Creation, better than all else. Then Adam(as) came and God commanded him to bow to Adam. How many of us seem like we are worshipping Allah and following Sheikh. Yet when Sheikh tells us to do something, we doubt Sheikh, or we doubt Allah when it seems like we won't get what we want for ourselves in life? Does our knowledge and actions feed the self that submits to itself or to other than itself? Yes we outwardly submit to Sheikh, but what is the real basis of this submission? Is it anything like the submission of Satan? Any trace of the ten blameworthy attributes is a trace of Satan in us.

You can't use your head to change your heart, other than using your head to decide to submit yourself whole-heartedly to a teacher! Knowledge and actions raise our status in the eyes of others, so is that what we seek? Otherwise you will go to knowledge and with such a heart, to gain pride and arrogance; because you go to it not for your heart to change. Knowledge and actions makes us feel we have some status, is that what we seek, to just be happy with our own selves? What about our status and station with Allah?

Anyone can study Fiqh and know it, but to implement it precisely constantly is a very high state that not only do many not achieve, but if honest, many do not want to achieve. Many want to pick and choose, they do not want to submit. I myself find myself in such a vile category of people. Anyone can study Tawheed, yet to be a person who is in such a state that all they witness and experience is Tawheed, and never forget Allah, this is Taqwa, this is the field of Ihsan. What good is Tawheed without Taqwa, without Ihsan; these are the real goals and fruits we should be striving for. But what stops us? Not ignorance or lack of intelligence; Satan has immense knowledge and intelligence.

This path, this Tareeqah hence is not simply a path that has some knowledge to teach you and some actions to show you how to preform. Seeking knowledge is deep, just look at the 7 Meems in seeking knowledge. These 7 Meems are about changing the heart. Action is a deep thing, look at the 7 Meems of Journeying to Allah, it is all about actions to change our hearts. The goal is to have this burning desire for Allah and to have a Pure Heart worthy of acceptance into Heaven. We know tawheed and we believe of course we have submitted to belief in Allah. We know Fiqh and do the actions, so we believe of course we have submitted, just look at our knowledge and actions. Yet what about what is in the heart?


What kind of a person believes that their knowledge and actions will get them to God? Unless you are broken and you give up your broken self to Sheikh, where will you go? If we can't submit to a teacher, how can we ever achieve our hearts submission to Allah? The goal is submission, not knowledge and actions. Once in submission, knowledge and actions become a true expression and embellishment of that submission. Who are we to direct ourselves as if we are not created in a state of absolute need and dependance. The Best of Creation and Beloved of Allah (saw), he replied three times that he did not know and could not do what is asked when Revelation struck. He then took Angel Gabriel(as) as his teacher and guide for his knowledge and actions. Even though he is above Gabriel. Yet one can see, that Gabriel did not do this because he is above Rasul(saw), he did this because he was submitting to Allah. Rasul(saw) did this in submission to Allah, not because he was submitting to an Angel beneath him. It was also to teach his followers humbleness and that the Sunnah is to take a Teacher, that even the Best of Creation took a teacher and did not teach himself. Tareeqah outwardly looks like submission to some man, yet in reality it is submission to Allah, as it is following the Sunnah of Rasul(saw). Allah says to follow Rasul(saw) and Rasul(saw) said that his Ulema are his inheritors, so follow the Ulema, these Ulema are those with an unbroken chain back to him, just like our own Sheikh. So we submit to Sheikh, because we submit to Rasul, to submit to Allah. If we do not submit to Sheikh, then we express rejection of Allah and Rasul(saw).


I have now studied more than perhaps all the bits of paper that make up all the lessons with Sheikh, I have even written more than that amount in notes from my studies. Yet it is not the literal pages, letters, meanings and lessons themselves. The real lesson happens in our hearts! This is what makes Sheikhs teachings now more vastly superior and important to me, than any other Sheikhs! It is due to that fact, that this little knowledge has a VAST effect upon the heart. These small usually disorganised, barely attended mudhakaras in Barking Community Centre, does enough to transform our hearts for the entire week till next Sunday. Sheikh always says, that Mercy comes down upon those in Mudhakara, yet we see not. We just seek the literal knowledge and the notes that we take. We see some of our brothers or sisters, who just sit there in absolute stillness and silence, taking no NOTES! Are they even listening we may think. If their hearts are listening, it is worth more than a ton of notes we take. Are our hearts listening attentively?

Sheikh says to read these lessons like a Love Letter. Anyone can do this, imagine your lover, be it Bradd Pitt or Angelina Jolie, whatever, etc, or the girl/guy next door, etc.
Just imagine they wrote you a love letter. How do you read it? This love letter changes your heart and the more you read it, the more the love intensifies in you. You get a burning desire for your beloved.
You want a burning desire for Allah? Then read these Love Letters from our Sheikh, and read it more and more, don't stop! Give every word, every sentence a long contemplation. Seek out every possible meanings for the sentences, what the author means and what they mean to you. Just like your love letter, oh what does he or she mean, and feel inside. Do they feel the same? Experience that! Then go to the Lover, go to your Sheikh! Ask your beloved Sheikh what these Love Letters mean!

So in summary. This tareeqah, and the goal in life itself, is Submission. If you do not submit, you are a loser in life. I am in loss dearly, pray for me for my submission and I shall pray for you and us all, for our submission, that it be true and sincere and accepted by Allah.
Ameen!